dickbutz

halfway through my first single malt a typical Midwest fat chick steps up to the bar and places her bulk in the accompanying bar-stool.she then sets her laptop on the bar and digs her cell phone out of one of her rolls and proceeds to gab away.

the poor bartender notices her and comes over.she sticks a chubby finger in the air in the universal ‘wait i’m on the phone’ signal and continues to exercise her chins with her monotonous gabbing.by the looks of her,that is the only exercise she engages in.eventually,she gets off the phone and wants to order.of course she doesn’t know what she wants.surprise,surprise.so she asks what each drink she can think of costs and compares drink prices on the menu to find the cheapest bang for the buck.

trying to ignore her,i look around the sparsely populated bar and see most the female clientele are hefty.well,i am in the Midwest so i guess it’s to be expected.a random thought occurs to me.i wonder if these hefty,linebacker shaped woman have powerful backs?you would think they would have to,as the muscles must support all that excess flab.the thought of one of my favorite bar appetizers now seems unappealing.i suppose there’s some fetish site somewhere on the Internet that people pay  to watch cows like these eat,but personally,i find the sight,and smell of fat women grazing and drinking to be disgusting.

i guess fatty finally decided on a drink as she is sprawled over her laptop sipping on a pink beverage.white zinfandel no doubt.the repose for the stupid,tasteless,ignorant that want to be perceived as intellectual and worldly.

damn,i really need another scotch.yes,please,make it a double.i think the exertion of ordering a drink has made the fatty next to me start to sweat.Christ,i can see the metal bar that is supporting her bra.that’s not wireless…it’s more like a thick steel cable.normally i love big,full,round,heavy breasts.but,god,fat chicks ruin everything.

after my drink is poured i collect my money and start to leave.why let the cow ruin my evening? however,just then she is joined by a companion and my curiosity gets the best of me.i have to hear what the connection is between this guy and the fatty and if he is trying to score with her-why?Midwestern guy’s standards are so low they will pump anything with a vagina.weight,body odor,number of kids with previous pumps-makes no difference to them in the least.these men are truly bottom feeding at it’s worst.the sad thing is it creates a cycle.women realize they don’t have to do anything to attract a Midwest man.i mean nothing.so,they let themselves get fatter than hogs,shower only when/if they feel like it and are incredibly boring,stupid,poor conversationalists,and childish in the extreme.apparently,the Midwest men support this behavior and find this kind of cheap female life acceptable.so the endless cycle of constantly downgrading  standards rolls on and on.pun intended.

i always found it strange that universally these Midwestern cows always want to live in California or Vegas or the like.i guess they don’t realize that in other areas of the country fat,roll covered, blubbery bodies are shunned for the disgusting display they are.they would NOT have guys all over them,like they do in the Midwest and in places like Vegas,where the service industry is the main employer it is unlikely they would find jobs as nobody,outside the Midwest man that is,wants to look at fat cows.i suppose these women are as delusional as the sorry men that try to pick them up.in their mind’s maybe they believe they are 125 pounds and beautiful.ahhh,that denial.ain’t it sweet?a necessity it seems in a dying society.

i listen to the couple to learn more.

after some small talk about their jobs,wireless connections,g3,their laptop computers and cell phones they talk more intimately about their lives.it’s sounding more like these two are workmates,not lovers.

turns out the guy is paying child support,and school debt,and credit card debt,and is scheduled to buy a house on the vista by the river,built only three years ago for 125k. four bedroom and two bath.he is also about to propose to a woman who may or may not be pregnant with his or possibly someone else’s child.

that is dead on.that is the perfect type of Midwestern boy to get into fat chick loving.there are so many things wrong and incorrect and flat out lies with the above statements he just made that show he truly posseses an impressively developed sense of denial.how else could he possibly live that kind of life? hell,he probably finds old fatty here quite attractive.

from this point on fatty just copies every move old workmate makes. he orders water-she orders water.he goes to the restroom-she goes to the restroom.he belches,she belches.ahhhh these two brainless youngsters deserve each other.

i get a happy ending as the liar and the cow leave the bar arm in arm.no doubt to transfer the stimulating conversation somewhere more private.true love wins out again.

i leave the bar for the restroom and puke.

 bartender,one more scotch please.

an original work by dick butz

it’s my name,it’s what i do

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